


reluctant.

by misswritingobsessed



Category: FBI (TV 2018)
Genre: Emotional Thoughts, Gen, Spoilers, episode tag: 2x17
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:06:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23480662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misswritingobsessed/pseuds/misswritingobsessed
Summary: That part, going home, she would never be reluctant about.
Comments: 17
Kudos: 42





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I cannot tag a piece to save my life, I swear. 
> 
> I wrote this after seeing 2x17, and really wanted to write something about Maggie's feelings about everything. I really, really hope it's not awful. (suddenly I have gone back to being terrified about every upload!) Any and all mistakes are my own, I hope this is something you enjoy reading.

Maggie tried not to make eye contact as the case was explained to her. Almost twelve months of undercover work scattered across the table in front of her. Details she needed to remember, names and faces, dates of significance, places and events. 

“You’re good for this. I’m sure you’ll do fine, we have a good group of people on this, they’ll have your back.” 

Maggie nodded, looking up only for a second to show she was listening before she went back to reading the information that had been set out for her. 

“Isobel told me you were,” he paused, searching for the correct word. “slightly reluctant to take this assignment in the beginning.” 

Maggie held her breath for a few seconds. She didn’t want to get overly emotional like she had done the night before, when Isobel walked her out of the building, gave her a hug and told her to stay safe.

Or sob like she had done when Kristen, Scola, Emily and Jubal had all messaged her, wishing her good luck, telling her they’d see her when she got back and that they’d keep an eye on OA for her. She didn’t want to feel the ache in her chest like she had done just hours ago when OA rang her at just gone five in the morning to wish her good luck and tell her to stay safe, that he needed her back in one piece.

She wanted this, even if it meant leaving her team behind for a few months. 

“I felt comfortable with my team, I really enjoy working in the JOC, they’re a good group of people, they have my back, I have there’s. I trust my partner with my life. It was a difficult decision to make.” 

He nodded, and Maggie swore she saw a flash of understanding cross his face. 

“As far as I’m aware once this mission is over, you’ll be heading back there. But, I understand, it is rare to have people around you that you trust wholeheartedly.” 

Maggie knew she was lucky. She and OA had clicked almost instantly, and by week two she was more than ready to step in front of a bullet for him, just like he was her. 

“I was slightly apprehensive. My partner is ex-army, spent time undercover, younger than me, I thought we’d clash. I was very wrong, he’s saved my life a few times, but not as many times as I’ve saved his.” Maggie said with a small smile. 

“Well, let’s try and get this assignment moving quickly, Agent Bell, and you’ll be back in the JOC in no time. I would say unless you’d like to stick around, but I can see that isn’t something you’re thinking about.” 

Maybe at one point she did. She thought about leaving New York, maybe D.C., maybe a field office somewhere else. Then she found her place on the team, met OA, and they began working together. She felt safe with them, able to question things, able to share her views and opinions, she was almost certain that they all had each other’s backs - they could trust each other. They also had the same aim, they wanted to keep people safe. 

Maggie was aware that she’d been left alone. The briefing now over meant she had a few hours before she would need to be out there, on the streets, undercover. 

A part of her was certain of her sadness at leaving the city, but the other half didn’t know how to think or feel. She was happy, because this was good for her, excited, because undercover work was on the tick list she’d drawn up when she joined the bureau, and then a million other different feelings that she couldn’t place. 

Was she allowed to be happy about the assignment? Could she feel annoyed that she couldn’t contact anyone from her team? Was she allowed to sit and consider the possibility of moving on from the JOC? She didn’t know. 

She closed the file in front of her, then turned over some of the other pages, hoping that her brain had absorbed all the information needed. But as she sat alone, she couldn’t get her mind to focus like she needed it too. Instead, she was wondering about her team. How Emily was getting on being partnered with OA. If Kristen was adjusting okay. Was Scola looking out for her? Was OA mad with her? How did Jubal feel about it all? Had Isobel looked at getting another agent in to replace her? 

Or maybe, they were doing their jobs. Maybe they were doing what they set out to do every morning - keep people safe. 

Maybe they were just getting on with life. Maybe they were getting on with the job waiting for her to come back. 

Taking a deep breath, she opened the folder in front of her again. She may have been reluctant, but she was here now, and she wanted to do a good job. Despite her wandering thoughts she knew deep down that she’d have a job back in New York when all this was over, she’d have a partner, a team, her life back. 

The door opened and a new agent walked through - her second handler. 

“Boss said you were a little reluctant to take this.” Was his opening line. 

Maggie smiled, shaking her head a little, “I was, but not anymore. I’m ready to do this.” 

And she was - she was reluctant at first, but she was ready to do this now, ready to make a good impression on the new team she was working with, ready to do Isobel proud, ready to push herself, on the condition she got to go home when it was all over. That part, going home, she would never be reluctant about. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Maggie used the same word,” Isobel smiled before OA could leave, “You were reluctant to come in here and ask questions, she was reluctant to go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Decided to add a second part to this, hope it's not my worst decision. Any and all mistakes are my own.

OA glanced over at Maggie’s empty desk. Most of her things were still as she left them. A few things had been added, mail that had been sent, paperwork, stationary supplies. OA had moved all her personal things into the top drawer and locked it. He didn’t know why, it just felt like something he should do. 

“Maybe Isobel knows something?” Emily suggested, handing OA a cup of whatever drink he’d requested.

“Maybe, but she’s not sharing, so, I guess we just wait until she speaks or until Maggie gets back.” He was trying not to be rude, and he knew everyone was only trying to help, but sometimes he wished they wouldn’t.

Emily gave him a small smile, “We have a case.” 

That’s what he needed, a distraction, something to take his mind off things. 

\----------

OA liked Haley, admittedly they didn’t get off on the best foot, but she was a capable officer and was good at her job. He had no reason to dislike her. 

He still didn’t dislike her when she mentioned she’d be staying for a while. He needed a partner, and she was more than capable, but it did make him wonder just how long Maggie would be gone, and that was the start of it.

He needed something, information, reassurance, anything - he wasn’t expecting a contact number and to be read in on whatever she was doing, but he needed to know his partner was safe. 

OA took a seat outside of Isobel’s office, to say he was reluctant to go in there was an understatement. It was the last thing he wanted to do, but he needed to. 

“OA, what can I do for you?” Isobel smiled at him as he walked in. 

“Can I close the door?” He hoped that would give her some indication of the conversation he wanted to have. 

“Of course, I assume this is about Maggie?” He wasn’t sure why he assumed she wouldn’t already know. 

“I know that you can’t tell me everything, but,” OA thought about his words, “But I need something, just so I know she’s okay.” 

Isobel shrugged, “I’m not being read in on much. I get weekly updates on all our undercover officers but that’s it.” 

OA took a breath, “Look, I was pretty reluctant about coming in here and asking you questions because I know you can’t say much, but Maggie is my partner, and all I want is some reassurance that she’s okay.” 

Isobel sighed, “The last I heard she’d successfully begun the operation and was in contact with her handlers. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary in the report, and no one has called me to report any kind of operation failures, so right now, I am taking it that she is doing well.” 

“I appreciate you telling me that.” 

“I worry about her too, much like I worry about every agent here, but OA, if this is going to cloud your judgment or your working relationship with Officer Upton-” 

“-It’s not,” OA cut her off, “I promise, ma’am, I’m good.” 

“Just needed some reassurance?” Isobel suggested the end of his sentence. 

OA nodded, “Thank you for your time.” 

“Maggie used the same word,” Isobel smiled before OA could leave, “You were reluctant to come in here and ask questions, she was reluctant to go.” 

OA didn’t know what to make of that, but he had his answer, he knew that for now she was safe, and right now, that was enough.

“As long as she’s not reluctant about coming back here, I think we’ll all be okay.” OA knew there were a million reasons she wouldn’t come back, he just hoped that none of them would come about.

“Oh,” Isobel shook her head with a smile, “I think this is home, she’ll be back before we know it.” 

OA nodded, he got what he came for, reassurance, right now Maggie was okay, right now, she had every intention of coming home - that was all OA needed to know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would love to know your thoughts on this :)

**Author's Note:**

> I would love to know your thoughts on this, and if you have any other ideas or prompts you would like me to attempt! Thank you so much for reading :)


End file.
